Nancy asks…
Have you seen these questions about Canada posted on a tourism website and answered by a Canadian?
Q Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A No, WE don’t stink.
Q Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A You are an American politician, right?
Q Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Q It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A Let’s not touch this one.
Q I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A Sure, it’s only six thousand km, take lots of water
Q I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Pip answers:
And I just thought Touzours was on the soccer forum.
Mary asks…
i want GET PLACED IN ABROAD LIKE AUS/UK/USA/MAURITIUS AS A DRIVER?
I .I have studied B.Sc(maths) and having computer Diploma.But unfortunately now I am working as driver in India.
I wish to get placement in USA/UK/AUS as atleast of driver in Tourism sector(car driver/pickup driver/any) please support me to get placed that type jobs .
Pip answers:
See, you have good qualifications. B.Sc. (mathematics) and a diploma in computers. It is really sad to know that young people with such qualifications are working as drivers. Why do you want to waste your education by becoming a driver abroad? Many good software companies in India are looking for these qualifications. So, select a good newspaper like times ascent and apply to thee software companies. You are likely to get a job with some software company. These companiues pay well.
Another alternative: If your academic record is good, you can try to take the GRE and apply to a good university abroad (US/UK/Canada/Australia) to do your MS in mathematics or computer sciences. After that you can look for a job abroad.
Ruth asks…
UK, USA, Australia or Canada… who’s best, and give your reasons…?
UK. My reasons, we have Adele, Coldplay, The Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Mumford and Sons, Oasis, etc… America has Kesha and Canada has Justin Bieber and Australia has Cody Simpson, I know One Direction are British but they actually have good music. we INVENTED free health care after England was done with war, Canada thinks they did though but they just belong to British Commonwealth, other countries try and take credit for what England has done and hold England back and claim their people, even the Bee Gees were British but because they lived in Australia for a few years, Australians claim them as Aussies when they were born and raised in UK. We have Simon Cowell who invented X Factor and most other cool talent shows like Britain’s got Talent and America’s got Talent. We get free education and don’t have to pay to go to school or college, we also have one of the best education systems. We have Kings, Queens, Princes and Princesses, Royal weddings are a big deal, we have the best history, you speak our English language, Britain invented the World Wide Web, Telephone and Television, I know other countries deny it but look it up, example, Tim Berners-Lee from London, UK invented the Internet and the two men who invented the television and the telephone are Scottish. And without England, America and Canada wouldn’t exist since they used to belong to the British Monarchy. London is a cool place for tourism because we have Big Ben, London Bridge, Buckingham Palace, The London Eye, The tower of London, The house of parliament, etc… Our flag looks the best too. We are also the classiest. And we invented The Apprentice, The Office, Dr Who and Harry Potter and America gives us JERSEY SHORE?! America also made crappy remakes of British shows like Skins, Shameless, The Apprentice, The Office and now they are doing Sherlock and Misfts, I don’t know how they even try to pull them off when most of the shows are based on British culture. And the whole of UK is not even the size of California and texas put together. We had a female prime minister YEARS ago, we are a lot less sexist, homophobic and judgmental than Americans in general. WE WIN.
Now, who do you think wins and what are your reasons? You can name another country too. Name as many reasons as you can.
Pip answers:
UK. The United Kingdom is wonderfully diverse but not in the same way it is in many other places. Besides places like china town in London, most communities don’t live in their own groups but equally throughout the country, more in major cities obviously. The United Kingdom has not just English, but other historic languages originating here as well which can include Welsh/Celtic, Cornish. The music is brilliant with some of the best music festivals I have ever seen. The incredible history going back before ancient Roman times offers unique architecture London. The National Health Service offers free health care and good health care to ALL citizens. The education system, although mistreated by many and taken for granted is, subject to opinion, very good. The politics is surprisingly fascinating, hilarious at points and most of its problems are usually exaggerated. The landscape of the countryside is beautiful with much to offer. I prefer British television because channels like those of the BBC mean that you can watch and enjoy a whole range of different programs, factual or fictional, Science – Fiction to lifestyle and non-commercialized plus there are great programs. I never liked Pop Idol, and I don’t like the X factor or Britain’s got talent but they started in this country and like many other programs including the office and top gear are just recreated for other county’s sake. There’s no need to pay for college or sixth-form, university is different. Britain in general has a smaller racism, sexism and homophobia problem than the USA and as guns are illegal, which I respect is also true for other countries, means less gun crime. London is the best city in the world. I have been to New York, Berlin, and many other places on holiday but London was and I think always will be the best. I like the fact its very difficult to get fired, if very difficult to get a job anyway. There is pride amongst the people, contrary to popular belief. You may hear many Muslim horror stories but according to a recent survey by the guardian, 83% of people are proud to be British. The location, easy access to mainland Europe and/or the Republic of Ireland. There are a great quantity of additional positives to say for the UK but my personal favorite, which you can interpret as a negative is the fact that it’s so brilliantly diverse and this meeting of cultures provides so much for this country from food to music. There are negatives, the class system is still in working order, you can distinguish the lady from the tramp in every town or city. You can guarantee a drought every year in the south-east and binge-drinking lets the country down, I think. Australia beats us at weather and at spo- no I can’t say it. Canada has a beautiful landscape with plenty to offer and the US offers there own romantic history from the 18th-20th centuries.They offer much to modern youth culture from TV to music to other forms of media. Every country has positives and negatives but my heart will remain with the United Kingdom.
I agree with ‘A.’ What a country offers to the rest of the world is important. The UK invented:
– Lawn Mower
– Microphones
– The world’s most popular sports from football to cricket.
– “See the Wikipedia site below” Much was invented and discovered here.
Helen asks…
Where should I ask for a job posting: Solihull or Cardiff?
My company has branches in different locations in the UK. Now it looks like I might have a choice between Solihull and Cardiff. Between these two places, where should I ask for a posting? And why?
(Some parameters I could think of: cost of living, places of tourism around, activities in the place, distance from London, etc)
Thanks in advance.
@Julia. I’m 25. Thanks!!
Pip answers:
How old are you?
Cardiff is a very great hip and happening “young” place! So i would say go there! Its also near to Bristol (where i live!) and you have the coast or the forrest of dean on your door step.. As well as they wonderful breckon beacon area.
Carol asks…
Questions to the Australian Tourism website, Like to hear them?
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?(USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
Pip answers:
Ohh it is so true! People think we all live in the desert, eat platypus and koala for supper every night, we have a population of about 400 and that there are kangaroos jumping down the streets. Nobody believs us when we tell them “we are just like your country, we arent savages, we do have electricity, and not all of us work on a farm 5 kilometers away from the nearest neghbour”
it is pretty ridiculous some of the things we hear when someone comes to Australia for the first time. Like the people who think we all speak like “g’day, me old cobber mate”. I wonder who did that recently… : )
i must admit that i myself am an immigrant, sadly born and bred in blackpool of all places…but still, the rest of us dont have stupid accents. It appears only past prime ministers seem to have communicated through that strange dialect. Thankyou bob hawke…
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